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"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass







Friday, May 3, 2013

And I Believed Her {A Listen to Your Mother Tribute}


me and my mama on my wedding day

I would stand in front of our
living room picture window, posed,
waiting for the record player's slow scraping to speed until music spilled out

filling the room and my fibers
as I danced and sang
into my hairbrush.

I felt so free. So alive.
Spinning, lungs burning
with oxygen, with words
tumbling out of my soul.

As the record slowed
I collapsed into a puddle
of five year limbs.

It was then that I saw her
standing in the doorway
wearing that look that puzzled me as a child...

She seemed to be looking at me, a thin lopsided smile on her face,
but also past me with her misted eyes to something in the future...
the mystic mama look she wore when she spoke of how fast I was growing.

I lay on my back looking up at her,
chest heaving to catch up
with my racing heart

She left the doorway
and scooped me into her lap
as she brushed a piece of moist hair back off my forehead she said,

"You have a beautiful voice."

And I believed her.

That's the power of Mamas.
They are right about so many things,
it's hard as a child to dispute them being right about you, too.

So I grew up believing that my voice had value.
That I could make the whole world stop and watch with a twirl and stanza into my hairbrush.
I carried my mama's words with me.

With time and a few knocks,
that mama voice gets clouded a bit -
uncertainty cracking the confidence in her being right.

But 24 years later found us standing alone in a library
facing each other woman to woman now
but she still reached to settle a strand of misplaced hair as she said,

"You have a beautiful voice."

And I believed her.

I walked across the library floor,
opened the door and smiled at two strangers
and witnessed the world stop again for five minutes with my words.

On Sunday,
she and I will be taking the trip
together

I've downloaded the very songs
that spun with my 5 year self
on that old record player

and I will stand before an audience
breathing deeply to steady that once more rapidly beating heart
repeating her words again and again in my head...

"You have a beautiful voice."

And I'll believe her.

After all,
you should always
LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.

*tickets are still available for Milwaukee's show Sunday May 5th, 3:00pm at Wehr Hall on Alverno college campus.  You can purchase them on-line HERE, or cash only at the door.*

15 comments:

  1. waaah.

    HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

    The ugly lucy cry, over some beautifully stirring words.

    You are a treasure, woman. PROUD TO HAVE YOU.

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  2. chills, tara. chills. going to share this on FB, too.
    so proud that you're a part of our nationwide LTYM group/cast!!
    p.s. would love to know what songs you were listening to/singing.

    xoxoxo

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  3. Oh.
    Oh.
    This is incredible.
    It's gorgeous and perfect and makes me want to jump on a plane and go to the Milwaukee show to hear your beautiful voice for myself.
    This is perfection.

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  4. Me too, Alexandra.

    Wow, a beautiful voice indeed.

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  5. This is perfection. I'm so glad I clicked over from Alexandra's Facebook post.
    Thanks for your words, and good luck with the show!

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  6. So incredibly beautiful. You will be amazing at the show. xoxo

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  7. This is so lovely. I agree: you have a beautiful voice.

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  8. So lovely. Now I'm crying at work. Me? Crying? That's so unlike me...

    Enough about me - you do have such a beautiful voice and I can't wait to hear it again on Sunday!

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  9. aaaahhhhhh...so perfectly lovely...love and prayers for GREATEST JOY on Sunday, as you breathe out your beautiful voice to every heart hearing!!! ...wishing it included mine.....

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  10. Your words move me. Your voice is breathtaking and brings me to tears. So grateful to have met you and be a part of this amazing experience with you. xoxo

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  11. Tara, THIS could have been written by me (well not really...because I am NOT the wordsmith/songweaver that you are) but, you have CAPTURED me and my mom(Shirl the Pearl, 81 yrs young). Thank you.

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  12. This truly is a beautiful voice, indeed.

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  13. Beautiful photo, beautiful post. I have now doubt that you will be amazing!

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  14. I already commented on FB, but I had to return to tell you again how much I loved this post. That this is the relationship I hope I have with my daughter. You have a beautiful voice and I'm so glad that it was heard and continues to be heard. It needs to heard.
    xo

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  15. misty eyed thanks for this beautiful, beautiful read:)
    -Jennifer

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