Pages

Quote

"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass







Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Gypsy King...telling my children why I follow a roving man instead of pulpits

As the kids get older, I need to keep redefining what of my faith I want them to know, what I want them to challenge and what to make their own. I’ve written some of this down before.

It comes to a head for me as every morning I hear the tooth and nail fighting that happens on the road of the presidential candidacy – grown men who condemn other men for having a too loose stance on abortion, or family values. That life is valuable and they flair their nostrils, stomp their feet and yell that families have to be protected. What am I to say to my children when they ask why and how? Surely, the answer does not lie in grown men spouting pro-life taglines while spending millions and millions of dollars {while his own constituents remain hungry and unable to provide} on attacking the marriages, the views, the very characters of those that run against them…clawing their way to the top over the bloodied mess they’ve made below them.

I do not want my values to be defined by others actions, so I will start to write my children my views:



My children,


Your mama loves this man named Jesus, the same name you’ll hear outside. And yet, like with a lot of things, names mean different things to different people. It doesn’t necessarily make one right, or one wrong, just different I guess. So when mama says she wants to share her faith in Jesus, this is what I mean -

Your mama finds the sky her sanctuary; I make my pulpit from the tall pines. I find communion in smoky bars, broken places, with people who don’t pretend. My rosary is each ten of your toes, and while my prayers may seem sporadic, my faith runs deep and comes out in whispers.

Your mama follows the Gypsy King.

My gypsy Jesus, he doesn’t serve on a committee, a cause, a church calendar. He roams this world just looking for people to love. And when he finds them, oh, child- how he loves them…not for their potential, but in the now. He doesn’t care if they see love between a man or a woman, he doesn’t care if they’ve signed a recall petition. He loves them through the beauty queen, the bar scene – he doesn’t want to transform them; except through love.


Never, ever for one second believe that a fictional preteen boy with a lightning bolt on his forehead is the enemy; or the scared girl with no one to turn to who runs to boys, to drugs to keep from despair. The enemy lies in each of us, that enemy named fear. That fear that tries to root out our worth, our identity, steals our name of beloved.


It’s ok to search and hold to truths, but learn that this is fluid and a bit hard to find. And if that truth don’t change a bit with the more people you connect with, seasons you live through, tears you have shed, then honey, you can bet it was never the truth to begin with.


And oh, my darling son who already wears virtue and strength - Don’t you ever stand up completely straight and tall with your ideals that turn to idolatry. I pray that your back is permanently hunched from all the bending low to pick up others, the falling prostrate, the stories you carry the weight of, that pull you deep down into the depths of humanity.


They can keep their Bible studies, their quick tips and brownie clad judgments. Not because I’m better than them, but because these things pull me in. They keep me tight, and bound, and worried, while I watch my view of Jesus slip silently away.


No sweet girl – Fight to join him. Fight to love with a passion that is scandalous. Fight that need to compete. Fight the lies that tell you you’re less than what you are. Fight the pride that tells you you’re more than just enough.


Lose everything. Let life wreak you good. Breathe deep in your living. Let your surroundings sink deep in.


Follow closely this changing figure, who slips in and out of view. When you think you catch hold of him, and confident you speak his voice, look again that you’re not clutching a mirror.


For he is a force of nature, changing with the needs of this world. He roams and wanders, healing with the dust kicked up from his feet.

For what is justice in light of mercy. Righteousness in light of grace. Laws in light of love?


So keep loving. Trying. Living. Crying. Until at last it all seems too muddled, too gray, to find where the truth ends and the world begins….


Maybe then...I pray my children, oh how I pray...we’ll see a sliver of that Gypsy Kingdom.




24 comments:

  1. loved this... I know a lot of people will....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful, T. Love it. I"m with you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. what i get most from this--love Jesus hard. and if they do this, the rest will all fall into place. our journeys may all look a bit different, but if we are all seeking after Him with our every last breath, some sense must come from it all, musn't it?
    thanks for sharing your heart with courage.
    steph

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'Fight the lies that tell you you’re less than what you are. Fight the pride that tells you you’re more than just enough.'

    'Follow closely this changing figure, who slips in and out of view. When you think you catch hold of him, and confident you speak his voice, look again that you’re not clutching a mirror.'

    oh my goodness LOVED THIS! YOU my dear friend weave poetry and you also have the same Jesus as me!

    happy to be following along now and thanks for visiting the flight platform xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes and Amen. This is so beautiful and teeming with wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loved this..."Lose everything. Let life wreak you good. Breathe deep in your living. Let your surroundings sink deep in". Yes, and that's is right where I want to remain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Will you please, please, please, please write a book? PLEASE??? Because I could curl up inside your words with a cup of tea and take a long, satisfying nap.

    And this... this is what I want for my children too.... Like. I'm MAD at you that I didn't write this! :-D This is just so beautifully spot on heart-achingly true.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh yes, to see a sliver of the kingdom. What a great way to share what is precious to you with your kids. Bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love the thought of Jesus being a gypsy king. My pastor always says that the most important thing a parent can do for a child is to place their hand in His hand. It sounds like you are doing that...

    ReplyDelete
  10. this is beautiful...love your view of jesus as the gypsy king...it so fits...and this i am sure will have great meaning to your kids too

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tara, love your passion to free your children, to follow the mystery. It is a gift to believe them to be capable {already} to live this way, following this gypsy king. I love this line, "Until at last it all seems too muddled, too gray, to find where the truth ends and the world begins…."
    Blessings. J

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good gracious child! Nice work. I might read this to myself ever six months or so! Especially this:
    Follow closely this changing figure, who slips in and out of view. When you think you catch hold of him, and confident you speak his voice, look again that you’re not clutching a mirror.
    BEAUTIFUl.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I just feel this is teeming with Life and hope, it totally resonates with me. It is also so eloquently written. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh Tara, there is so, so much here. Thank you for your words, for a beautiful picture of following Jesus, of what he's like and the life he is and can be in us. A changing figure who slips in and out of view. These words bring tears of recognition -- I know that guy. I love him. Your words make me want him more deeply. I'll be coming back to this one again.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have printed this out. I will place it in my bible. These are life words, beautiful sentiments to remember and to pass on. I am speechless. I just wanted you to know this is one of my very favorite posts that I've ever read. It is as if you described my soul in words, my dreams for my sons. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. good gracious, girl...powerful AND poetic! if only there were more gypsy hearts among His followers, those less comfortable in this world and more with a longing to gather others as they travel toward their eternal home. thanks for finding me so I could follow your sweet comments back here to you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This stole the air right from my lungs. Gaaaah!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you for this reminder of how scandalously, lavishly, RELENTLESSLY He loves me. This is a night for deep words, apparently. Amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I have never thought in Jesus this way specifically -- the Gypsy King. I'm saving this post -- it is one to savor over time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. A treasure for your children. This King loves me -- just as your words challenge me to bend low, reaching to others as I walk the path He chose for me.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is so incredibly beautiful. "...healing with the dust kicked up from his feet" Your words are so visceral, descriptive, and penetrating, I can feel his dust falling upon me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. What a beautiful gift to your children! I wish I were so creative in sharing my faith.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love this. I especially want this for my children: "Don’t you ever stand up completely straight and tall with your ideals that turn to idolatry. I pray that your back is permanently hunched from all the bending low to pick up others, the falling prostrate, the stories you carry the weight of, that pull you deep down into the depths of humanity."

    I'm so glad you left this link in your FB comment. I love when people share their stories!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Beautiful. Cold chills all over. Funny to think at my age that I am rethinking everything. I am glad you left this link, glad I found this. You are a beautiful writer. Your children will treasure these little jewels. As do I.

    ReplyDelete