|This week's word: Trust|
My hands tremble as I dial, sinking into her presence on the line. "Mama, how will I know when it's time?" And she chuckled low and deep in the way only knowing women can, and tells me "You'll know, baby girl, trust in yourself. your body will tell you."
And it did. I fell into the pattern told only by my body. Bringing me to the brink of this new journey. And when my story unfolded sooner than was expected, I trusted my own sense of self to say, "It's time."
And in a blur of mere minutes, you were here. In my arms.
I was entrusted to your care. You, of zero days behind you, and me with only 22 years on my back. My hands shook once more as I clipped you into your seat. No one seemed to see the desperation in my eyes - I've never done this before. These nurses. These doctors. Even my own family, trusted you to my keeping. One deep breath in, I told myself I would do the same.
~~ And yet again, this fall ~~
With the leaves curling brown behind us, I fix the straps of your backpack, smiling at all we have learned together, my first born love and I.
Now, we were to enter a new phase.
Still unsure. Still uncertain.
But I am learning to trust this love that guides me.
But mostly, I trust in your ability to flourish even when I falter.