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"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass







Wednesday, January 4, 2012

the wisdom found in my mother body

I find myself a week out of Christmas, just two days out of our New Years celebration standing in front of a mirror...in a swim suit... looking like the Ghost of Christmas past (a past filled with one too many cookies, thank you), nervous that I will soon grace the decks of a cruise ship looking less than my best.

Then, as I lay with my son, tucking him in for the night, he tells me "you are the perfect kind of soft.", and as I laugh away his remark telling him that perhaps mama shouldn't be so very soft, he looks up at me startled and says, "don't lose all your mama"; I realize there's truth here too...

The awkward full of my height that was reached at age twelve;
somehow does not look as precariously far from the ground on me as it did then.

Those once gangly, string bean arms, that flailed about in excitement;
wrap perfectly around car seats to serve a juice box, find a lost toy or retrieve a fallen blanket.

A belly, then scooped half moon in, waiting for the full of my life to begin;
now has seen the swell of life harbor inside me twice,
soft now from the remembrance.

Oh, those dancer legs that went from here straight to the sky, the gate of steady determination;
have now carried the weight of sleeping babies,
paced slow miles into the rugs around their beds
weary, tired, but they've never failed me.



photo credit: John Christian Adams


Hipbones that were hard, angular, decisive;
now have been worn smooth by
lessons that sharp and strong should never be chosen over gentleness and love,
releasing control to allow life to softly guide you

That youthful voice, so sure, loud with proclamations,
ready for battle cries to move mountains;
lives now within the power of hushed tones,
traded in soapboxes for lullabies,
knowing I change the world through the truth I whisper in their ears.



photo credit: John Christian Adams


Hands that used to grasp for self-purpose, ambitious dreams;
now are extended to steady first steps, calm fears,
wipe away the physical traces of sadness,
clap wildly with pride.

This heart of mine wasn't used as openly then.
I kept it apart from others, cautious of it becoming worn,
storing it away for when I was sure I needed it;
It bleeds and beats freely now, sometimes too quickly,
but has learned one will never run out
when you don't try to limit love.

I store this wisdom in my very bones
lessons housed beneath my very skin.
this, my mother body.


Thank you, buddy friend, for reminding me.


photo credit: John Christian Adams


{all picture credits are for the fabulous John Christian Adams, please do not reproduce images without permission, instead, if interested, go check out all his great work, permalink on the right of my blog}



I chose this post, not because it's the best thing I've ever written...but because it speaks to where I am at this point in my life.  A place I'm grateful for. Happy blogoversary!!

17 comments:

  1. Gorgeous. There is so much wisdom in all our mother bodies, if we'd just stop denying ourselves long enough to honor it. Did you read this post from last summer @Emerging Mummy? (http://www.emergingmummy.com/2011/06/in-which-i-promise-not-to-call-myself.html)
    It's so right on and just her words (and yours, now) inspired me to think of my body's "imperfections" differently. To maybe, someday, even celebrate them.

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  2. What a beautiful word. This mother body can so relate. You describe the feelings and awkwardness so beautifully - maybe in a way that just us mms can relate. Blessings.

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  3. @Kim, oh...don't her words just sing of the beauty of it all? love her.

    @Alene, you could be very right about us understanding one another in a way others perhaps can't :)

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  4. I found you through Emily Freeman, and I'm so thankful. All I can utter in response to this most beautiful post is yes. And ahhh. And amen.

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  5. What a beautiful testimony of a mother's body. What a wise little man to tell you not to lose your soft. Precious. Thank you for sharing this with us!

    Blessings,
    Mel
    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

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  6. Lovely and beautiful! I wish I had more words of deep insight but the way you expressed maturing and letting go is just so beautiful and so wise. Love it and I want to be your friend!

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  7. absolutely gorgeous and perfectly said.

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  8. I like your blog! It's really cute! :)
    www.radiant-joy.blogspot.com

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  9. Beautiful post Tara - such a lovely reminder of how God must see us too and why He asks us to look beyond appearances.

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  10. This makes me exhale, deeply and with appreciation for all that IS my body, my self as a Mother. Such beauty, love it!

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  11. you write with SUCH power. it's an inhale.

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  12. Beautifully said! It's amazing what these little kiddos can teach us. I've never been as impressed with my body as I was in the months leading up to and after childbirth. I mean - what we can do and the way in which we bounce back nearly to what we were before - it's nothing short of amazing.

    (Following you from the Blog Bash linkup!)

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  13. This is just the kind of post that I love - perfect for the phase of life you are in right now. And so amazingly, beautifully written - gasp! "A belly, then scooped half moon in, waiting for the full of my life to begin;
    now has seen the swell of life harbor inside me twice,
    soft now from the remembrance." ---> this one sentence...says so very much.
    As does that last photo of you with the fireworks. Makes me think of that song: Baby you're a firework. (-:
    Thanks for linking up - this was lovely.

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  14. WOW, Absolutely beautiful! "don't lose all your mama" - didn't your heart just melt???

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  15. I just love the phrase, "don't lose all your mama" - so beautiful! A wonderful tribute to mothers. Thank you for sharing this gorgeous post with us for Blog Bash.

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  16. I love this post. Absolutely love it. So beautifully written.

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