The moon reflects up off the snow and onto your restlessly sleeping face.
You brows still knit tight together,
your dimpled fist clutching that tissue like a life line.
I prepare to stay beside you through this night,
with soothing words, cool hands,
and the reassurance that lies for every child in the presence of mother.
For even in the discomfort that has befallen you,
and the sleepless night in store for us both;
I find myself opening wide and welcoming these moments.
Because when your child needs,
a mother you become.
Tonight I slip on the cloak of comfort, the wisdom of sages
when you ask so reverently if you'll ever breath again.
I nod only once, praying that the half shadow of the princess nightlight
hides the smile dancing on my face.
Some days motherhood is a title that is hard fought.
Full of self-doubt, faultered steps, worry.
Not tonight, little bird.
Tonight, I pull tight into my title.
Rejoice that I smell just so.
I push back the falling strands of hair from your forehead.
Momentarily erasing signs of pain with a kiss.
And sink us slowly into the night
singing low sweet words sung by the ages
rocking us to the beat, the rhythm of our shared hearts.
Counting with Ann a thousand gifts:
31. Finding pleasant smiling faces, even from the car in front of me.
32. Baby girl, who has been going with brother since she was 2 weeks old to the bounce-house play area, can now officially do all the slides and fun all on her own. And boy, does she ever.
35. Saturday afternoon unexpected naps on the couch while your husband and kids have an epic Super Mario galaxy session raging on.
36. Owen learning to beat-box from his little friend from kindergarten. Proudly showing us his skills… in his underwear. Word.
37. Finally taking down the Christmas decorations. I think we officially get the holiday cheermeister award for two full months of being decked and jolly.
38. For husbands who ASK for you to wait to watch Downton Abbey until he’s home from work. And when you have to pause the show to take care of your sick daughter, unable to return, you find him watching the rest of the episode on his IPad. #lovemanlymenwhowanttoknowMatthewsfateasmuchasyou