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"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass







Monday, January 9, 2012

Outside our Door

Oh, those winds blow hard outside our door tonight my love…
I lie awake watching your chest rise and fall.

When did each day become common place;
when these days were the very dreams we shared
inside each of our teenaged kiss?

My eyes flash
Your teeth gnash
We stand hard on these worn disagreements
In words long felt but not spoken
You tell me I’ve changed
My heart sobs as I tell you I wish you’d do the same.

And in the silence of those pregnant moments,
I find us grappling hard for the love that brought us together.
No longer are we fresh twenty, holding hands before our wedding alter.
We are now in those very days our vows committed to one another.

Yet, as I watch the sleeping rhythms of your breath,
I realize they are but a mirror of my own.
We are connected by our essence,
alike in ways our conscious thought rarely understands.

Together, we emerged decidedly one
made so not only by fate, but by faith, and by fight.

For those winds, they’ve come to shake us,
wake our babies from their beds.

Let us pull up all around us the blankets of redemption,
Rest our weary heads in the lap of forgiveness
And brave this night, hand in hand.





Linking up with Ann, counting a thousand new gifts in 2012:


1. Winter walks that wake the spirit and stir the soul.

2. Small quarters, smelling of garlic, cornbread, ham, and a lot like love.


3. Late night movies in bed, a mound of blankets, laptops and contentment.


4. Books that leave me drinking in my own heart, written by another’s hand.


5. My daughter’s hair in the morning. All frenzy, fire, fabulous hot mess.


6. Friendship that transcends distance and defines understanding and grace.


7. Finding wisdom in my mother body 


8. Growing boy legs draped over the edge of the couch.


9. Open suitcases, packing warm clothes and a week’s rest.

10. Excitement pulsing in our veins for this time committed to one another, this new day that is ours.


11. The book Sky Sisters~ learning the objibwe word for little sister, one ava and I both responded to: Nishiime.

 
12. Downton Abbey premiere. ~Feeling so very posh and sophisticated while in reality wearing sweats and snacking in my living room.


13. Sibling whispers in the dark, laying together under a mechanic solar system…brother taking serious his responsibility to teach, sister reverent in her adoration.


14. Squeals of 5 year old boy laughter over a subject I find a baffling example of “men are from mars”


15. Ava overcoming the fear of being alone by whispering the mantra I have taught her:

“I’m brave. I’m beautiful. I’m smart. I’m loved.”

Those words and the clicking of her trusty four legged  sidekick’s nails echoing up to the ceiling as she conquers the quest upstairs alone.


16. Perfect afternoon of sledding.
















17 comments:

  1. Downton Abbey was on my list too! And I love the mantra that you have taught to Ava...such priceless words to take in.

    joy & blessings,
    Alida

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  2. What a profound post! Your text ... ah, if experiences could be shared without words.
    And the mantra :-) One we should all try. We all have darkness we are afraid of!
    Pax!

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  3. lovely post and pictures, tara.
    and i love the mantra, too. strong woman she will be for the believing!
    steph

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  4. Amazing. I'm speechless! You are a WONDERFUL writer, Tara. And I'm so blessed by your list. Oh, the pictures!!

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  5. This was absolutely wonderful.

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  6. I am further along the marriage route (older), and having worked through some of the honest flaws we both have (sometimes with the help of a counselor and other times with the help of dear friends and of course, always with God's help) ... we have entered a different kind of sweetness. Always worth the work. Beautiful writing here about the honest struggles of marriage.

    Downton Abbey was a delight!

    Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  7. I love this. I love the raw honesty, the vulnerability, and the promise of hope in the hard. You are a beautiful writer.

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  8. Oh my goodness, there is so much that I love in this post! :) That mantra to scare away the fears - I love it. "Squeals of 5 year old boy laughter..." Ha! :) The sledding pictures are perfect. And your beautiful words at the beginning of the post... I feel it. This part especially: "No longer are we fresh twenty, holding hands before our wedding alter.
    We are now in those very days our vows committed to one another." That is me. I was married at 20, and we are in those days...

    I am happy to have blog-befriended you :)

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  9. What a beautiful gift. These words. This poetry. The process -- from hopeless alienation to: "Let us pull up all around us the blankets of redemption, Rest our weary heads in the lap of forgiveness
    And brave this night, hand in hand." Thank you for your vulnerability and this declaration of hope and commitment in marriage. Gift.

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  10. Oh Tara, so gorgeous. Raw and honest, and a tale told from a point we all reach in marriage. It's better together, even in the darkest and bitterest night. Thanks for the reminder.

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  11. wow that is beautiful verse...def honest...and you know what, the magic that is life can take the place of common once again...been there...

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  12. So rich with truth and meaning, Tara! Thanks for sharing. I loved the last paragraph of your poem - "Let us pull up all around us the blankets of redemption, Rest our weary heads in the lap of forgiveness." That's right where I am right now. I am all about seeking God's redemption--especially in marriage. And forgiveness is the water that I'm swimming in lately too! Love it!

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  13. I loved your word picture and then the pictures that followed. and, I'm a huge Downton Abbey fan, too. :)

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  14. We are now in those very days our vows committed to one another.


    wow. friend, this is powerful. truly... a gripping write.

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  15. So blessed to see you fight for your marriage. I know from experience it is worth it.

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