"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Happy Haunts

At the end of the huanted mansion, Ava and I were greated by the new 2011 updated "ghosts", just installed.  As they interacted with us, and Ava giggled holding her hands out to her new friend, I just smiled remembering my "ghost" that "followed me home" 22 years ago.

Everytime I return, my own 6 year old ghost waves me in, beaming...

I see her dancing savagely with her brother past the 'head hunters' on her way to pirates,

I see her in Peter Pan's shadow as we fly out of the nursery,

She's intensly driving on the speedway, unaware of the guardrails keeping her course,

and if I look closely in the steam of train at Mainstreet station, I see her soaring high above us all.

She's not the only one of my happy haunts that inhabit there:

my teenage awakard self can be found on all the thrill rides with tears of laughter spilling down her cheeks with her friends,

a little older now, but still so young, watching those fireworks reflected in the big brown eyes of the boy she was very timidly falling in love.

two years later she returns to this same spot, her new wedding ring, with no scratches of life, love and loss yet etched upon it, watching those fireworks with that same boy, sending her dreams for her life up into that night sky.

here I find her, her hips a little wider, her heart loving a little boy with a love that's a little wilder...

and another year, belly swollen, tucked up inside her she gracefully protects her second wonder.

year after year

these happy spirits return, my babies bigger, until

I watch with delight as their childhood spirits dance with my own.

Friday, October 28, 2011

5 minute Friday: From Egypt to Fruitloops, with love.

This week's word: Relevant

It's in the weekend when the most intelligent reply you've made is "Hola, Dora!"
   ...and when you fall into bed; your husband weary from work and you weary from child rearing can't manage to string together that long of a sentence.

It's in all the places in the world you wish to travel, cultures to discover.

It's in trying desperately to keep your finger on the vein, hear the beat of this generation, feeling removed from the ability to join in, rooted by your duties to family at home.

It's in the most expensive piece of jewelry you own being a frootloop necklace, which may be missing a few after you watched your dog walk away with it earlier that day.

...and then...

 it's in the moment when your child grieves heavy, and no one can make out a word, but you, her mother hear the language of her heart and calm fears with a touch.
 ...and maybe, you are being taught in this season to listen to hearts, and not speak intelligent words.

it's in the moments where you travel to Egypt on your couch-arm camel, or spaceship made from an overturned chair.

it's in the simple explanations to your oldest of what the protests are all about, the fundamental values being set on his heart. You then know you've not only got your finger on the vein of this generation, your blood runs through it.

it's in those chubby toddler hands that strung those beads, those beautiful children who are your pearls, your crown.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Five Minute Friday: Learning to Live in the Whisper

This is my first crack at this writing "exercise" hosted by the gypsy mama... I am very encouraged by all of the writers out there taking part in this...this week's word is: beyond

All around me noises, movement ~life, swirls.
   I am a happy participant in it all, but feel the presence of my nagging self
          when I am quiet enough to hear even my dark voices.

         "there is no way I am loving enough, cleaning enough, learning enough, traveling enough, reaching out to those who need enough..."

then I hear Him whisper...

"but I am enough.
 lean into me.
live here inside this moment,
stay here inside my whisper."

so, I go beyond myself, noticing in the swirl of life ~ whispers...

Whispers of grace as my children hug earnestly after a spat...

Whispers of love as my husband wakes to administers cold medicine in the night...

Whispers of strength not my own as I grasp a hand of a hurting friend...

Whispers of being enough, even alone, beyond my thoughts, quiet in the cold Autumn sunlight.

I will lean into this moment and dwell inside the whisper.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I wish for them to keep

I wish for them to keep  the memory of their heads bent, knees touching, singular in focus.

I wish for them to keep the taste of those first bitter tears that were wiped clean with kisses.

I wish for them to keep weekend mornings: 4 bodies, entwined - stale breath, clammy sleep skin, the feel of daddy whiskers, and mama's flannel pants...and oh, the laughter and hugs before the sunlight finds us.

I wish for them to keep the knowledge that we will all be wrong often.  And that its through loving each other fiercer and stronger through those times that will bring us back together.

I wish for them to keep the look in their father's eyes when he scoops them up in his arms.  This look is their first glimpse of what it looks like to be deemed fully worthy and fully loved.

I wish for them to keep those quiet moments spent rocking to a rhythm all our own as I have whispered stories of the past in their ears.

I wish for them to keep those late nights of sleepy haze when they are surrounded by booming laughter, music and stories yet to be learned.

I wish for them to keep the essence of these years of wonder, the fierce love of all who protect them and the confidence that they are ready to step beyond what we have taught them...and capture that old world in a jar.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Freddy Winston Churchill

He was the cutest mouse we ever saw
with big front teeth and tiny claws

Found him resting by the road
made him a grass clippings, leaf, stroller abode

Harbored him there during our icecream break
unfotunatly, all the bumps make that stroller shake

transferred him after tearful child seperation
to Lindy's home with plenty of produce and careful preperation.

Alas, Freddy Winston, it was not meant to be
but you'll always live on in our hearts and memory...

Our beloved "Gus-Gus"
Found: 4:30pm October 6, 2011
  Died: 7:58pm October 6, 2011