"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hung by a Soap Rope

Caution: To anyone with actual problems in your life, this may annoy you. This is not my biggest concern, or really in fact all that tragic…more just sad…that this is my life.

The other day I ran out of deodorant, so in my daring and oh-so spontaneous way, I decide to try a new kind. Then, they got me with the matching spray. This is a splurge item for me…does the rest of my body need to match my armpits? I decided, yes.


Getting the rush of adrenalin in my head, I see the MATCHING SOAP to go with my spray that matches my armpits…I can’t have the smell of my soap competing with my perfectly aligned other smells - so that makes its way into my cart.

I cannot express to you my delight as I get ready for my shower the next morning (as I also got new face moisturizer)…until I open my soap. I am horrified.

It smells like airport terminal soap.

To be exact, it smells like O’Hare International Airport bathroom soap. I don’t know if it is because I have spent more time at the O’Hare terminal than other airports waiting that this smell is distinctly theirs, or, if they have their own special horrific brew made right there in the Windy City.

Maybe I should disclose this tid-bit about myself: I have a freakishly good sense of smell, which latches itself on to most of my memories (which I also retain forever). I’m talking I know when someone is about to pass gas before it leaves the person. And I could identify each of my family members by smell alone in this regard.  A real "who-done-it" detective...
 Van Gogh and Emily Dickinson had their demons, I have mine….

Anyway, I tell you this so that you know I am not lying to you. Its airport soap. Now I have a predicament. In addition to the one in my shower, I have three more bars of this stuff.

I can’t simply just replace the soap and allow my soap smell to compete. I now know that matching all of my fragrances is an option, and I’m afraid I can’t go back.

Where does that leave me? I can’t possibly go and buy new deodorant and body spray to replace my 3 day old ones I purchased...

So, here I sit. Smelling like a flight leaving gate 25a.


  1. ha! i absolutely know the exact smell of which you speak. and its so weird... the soap in the international terminal is completely different than the soap in the rest of the airport. its like they are trying to impress foreign visitors with some bizarre and exotic fragrance. except it isn't exotic at all. its just a weird mixture of bubble gum and gasoline. ha. this post made me laugh... i needed that.

  2. Tara, you crack me up! I also know the smell you are talking about. Unlike Adriel I am not a fan. However, maybe when you smell it the scent will take you back to a happy time when you were about to go on a fabulous vacation. Smells always remind me of things like that. I don't have a sensitive sniffer, but my hair holds scents like crazy. If I step into a Cold Stone, even for only a minute, I walk out smelling like waffle cones and sweets- Mike loves that. On the negative, get me near a smokey grill or spilled gasoline and I am nauseating to be around. :(