This year I was feeling a little sad that my celebration would be a small affair, and by small I mean me, Jason, and our two sleeping kids. A part of me wants to go to my brother's show here in town, but if I went I know that when midnight struck, my heart would be at home, in the still of the night next to the three people who would be waiting for me when I returned. So, I think after all a nice steak cooked by Jason, bedtime stories and kisses, a movie, and bed sounds like a rather nice way to bring in this next year.
As you can probably guess since I'm not an orthodox celebrant of the New Year, I don't do New Years resolutions. I am a perfectionist, so having a list full of goals that I most likely won't get around to doesn't appeal to me. Instead, in the spirit of giving this "holiday" - I still use the term loosely- a fresh chance, I decided to reflect on ten things I hope for this new year.
1. A chance to connect with those I love and to continue to make a difference in their life. I have so many people in my life that I truly love; and it never seems as though I have enough hours in the day to spend with everyone I wish I could. So if you are reading this, chances are since you are either my mom or some relation :), I think with love about you more often than I am able to be with you.
2. That I can guide O & A on the promising path that they have shown to be on. I try hard not to get too far ahead of where they are in their lives with my hopes for them. I don't want what my passing daydreams of future them to influence what they and God wish them to be. I just want their natural tendencies to continue to guide them. That leads me to 3 and 4...
3. Owen's sensitive heart: spend five minutes with my son and you know you are loved. His imagination and ability to bring everyone into his world amazes me. He is a mix of my brothers creativity and likeability factor, my (ultra) sensitivity, and his dad's ability to analyze something until it's understood. I hope that his heart always stays open and he never stops dreaming.
4. Ava's strength and confidence: It's no secret my daughter could beat you up and has probably considered it, twice. I have all of the "accident reports" from daycare from her biting those that get in her way to prove it. I love it, "accident"...nope, pretty sure she meant to do that! She comes from a long line of strong women, my grandma Chiz and her mother, Jason's mom and grandmother, and I have been known to hold my own once in awhile too. But in her I also see my grandpa and mothers compassion for animals and a nurturing spirit. When she comes into a room, she knows she belongs there. I hope she never loses her moxie.
5. To exercise more. I won't say to work out every day or loose a set amount of weight, because again, that puts too much pressure on me :) but I would like to exercise more.
6. To relax a little more. Between working full time, going to school part time, and the family sometimes its hard for me to sit down and be ok with that.
7. To be a little cleaner. I know, a little counter productive to number 6, but I'm messy. But I don't really like things that way. So when it's messy, I can't relax...hence it's placement after 6.
8. To enjoy my backyard this summer. My mother-in-law started an amazing garden when this was her house. We have never properly got out there and took care of it and enjoyed it the way we should. I would like to this summer.
9. To go to Disney World. This hope will come to fruition in like 8 days, but hey, it's technically in 2010, so it counts. And have I mentioned?!?! I'm very excited.
10. To not give up on this blog. I have good intentions, but can get sidetracked. I really enjoy writing, and this is an informal way for me to do that. It's a way to keep me do something that I really enjoy and connect with people at the same time...so even when it feels like I'm talking to no one, I want to keep going.
And my hope for you all is that you enjoy both your nights and all that 2010 has in store. I will be bringing it in with joy in my heart, and no matter where you are, you can't ask for more than that.