"We're all just walking each other home." - - Ram Dass

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Years!

I can't lie. I'm not much on the New Year's celebration, never have been. Not that getting out with a group of friends and celebrating isn't fun, I just never really felt what all the "fuss" was about with what we were celebrating. The only thing I really remember from New Years is in 2000, that one second everyone (even those of us who didn't REALLY think it would happen) held their breath waiting for the world to crash around them, money to come flying out of banks, computers to crash, you know all that stuff.

This year I was feeling a little sad that my celebration would be a small affair, and by small I mean me, Jason, and our two sleeping kids. A part of me wants to go to my brother's show here in town, but if I went I know that when midnight struck, my heart would be at home, in the still of the night next to the three people who would be waiting for me when I returned. So, I think after all a nice steak cooked by Jason, bedtime stories and kisses, a movie, and bed sounds like a rather nice way to bring in this next year.

As you can probably guess since I'm not an orthodox celebrant of the New Year, I don't do New Years resolutions. I am a perfectionist, so having a list full of goals that I most likely won't get around to doesn't appeal to me. Instead, in the spirit of giving this "holiday" - I still use the term loosely- a fresh chance, I decided to reflect on ten things I hope for this new year.

1. A chance to connect with those I love and to continue to make a difference in their life. I have so many people in my life that I truly love; and it never seems as though I have enough hours in the day to spend with everyone I wish I could. So if you are reading this, chances are since you are either my mom or some relation :), I think with love about you more often than I am able to be with you.

2. That I can guide O & A on the promising path that they have shown to be on. I try hard not to get too far ahead of where they are in their lives with my hopes for them. I don't want what my passing daydreams of future them to influence what they and God wish them to be. I just want their natural tendencies to continue to guide them. That leads me to 3 and 4...

3. Owen's sensitive heart: spend five minutes with my son and you know you are loved. His imagination and ability to bring everyone into his world amazes me. He is a mix of my brothers creativity and likeability factor, my (ultra) sensitivity, and his dad's ability to analyze something until it's understood. I hope that his heart always stays open and he never stops dreaming.

4. Ava's strength and confidence: It's no secret my daughter could beat you up and has probably considered it, twice. I have all of the "accident reports" from daycare from her biting those that get in her way to prove it. I love it, "accident"...nope, pretty sure she meant to do that! She comes from a long line of strong women, my grandma Chiz and her mother, Jason's mom and grandmother, and I have been known to hold my own once in awhile too. But in her I also see my grandpa and mothers compassion for animals and a nurturing spirit. When she comes into a room, she knows she belongs there. I hope she never loses her moxie.

5. To exercise more. I won't say to work out every day or loose a set amount of weight, because again, that puts too much pressure on me :) but I would like to exercise more.

6. To relax a little more. Between working full time, going to school part time, and the family sometimes its hard for me to sit down and be ok with that.

7. To be a little cleaner. I know, a little counter productive to number 6, but I'm messy. But I don't really like things that way. So when it's messy, I can't relax...hence it's placement after 6.

8. To enjoy my backyard this summer. My mother-in-law started an amazing garden when this was her house. We have never properly got out there and took care of it and enjoyed it the way we should. I would like to this summer.

9. To go to Disney World. This hope will come to fruition in like 8 days, but hey, it's technically in 2010, so it counts. And have I mentioned?!?! I'm very excited.

10. To not give up on this blog. I have good intentions, but can get sidetracked. I really enjoy writing, and this is an informal way for me to do that. It's a way to keep me do something that I really enjoy and connect with people at the same even when it feels like I'm talking to no one, I want to keep going.

And my hope for you all is that you enjoy both your nights and all that 2010 has in store. I will be bringing it in with joy in my heart, and no matter where you are, you can't ask for more than that.

1 comment:

  1. Cheers to you and your family on this New Year's Eve - I, like you, will be home with the sleeping kids. You are a great writer! Keep up the blog. ;)